I
Am
the
First
and
I
Am
the
Last
Article
No.
14,
1985
The
verse
says,
“I
am
the
first
and
I
am
the
last,
and
there
is
no
God
besides
Me.”
It
is
known
that
the
order
of
the
work
on
the
way
to
achieve
the
goal
of
Dvekut
[adhesion]
with
the
Creator
is
to
work
in
order
to
bestow.
However,
according
to
what
man
has
received,
the
order
of
the
work
with
regard
to
education
is
actually
Lo
Lishma
[not
for
Her
sake],
as
Maimonides
said
(Hilchot
Teshuva,
Chapter
10),
“The
sages
said,
‘One
should
always
engage
in
Torah,
even
in
Lo
Lishma,
since
from
Lo
Lishma
he
comes
to
Lishma
[for
Her
sake].’
Therefore,
when
teaching
little
ones,
women,
and
uneducated
people,
they
are
taught
to
work
only
out
of
fear
and
to
be
rewarded.
Until
they
gain
knowledge
and
acquire
much
wisdom,
they
are
taught
this
secret
bit
by
bit,
and
they
are
accustomed
to
this
matter
peacefully
until
they
attain
Him,
know
Him,
and
serve
Him
with
love.”
Therefore,
when
a
person
wants
to
walk
on
the
way
to
the
goal
of
Dvekut
with
the
Creator,
which
means
to
aim
that
everything
will
be
in
order
to
bestow,
he
must
first
have
a
deficiency,
meaning
dissatisfaction
with
the
work
in
Lo
Lishma.
At
that
time
he
begins
to
search
for
another
order
in
the
work,
since
the
engagement
in
Torah
and
Mitzvot
[commandments]
he
was
used
to
was
on
the
basis
of
the
will
to
receive,
called
Lo
Lishma.
But
now
that
he
needs
to
replace
his
entire
basis
on
which
he
built
his
entire
life’s
order,
it
depends
on
the
extent
to
which
he
sees
that
the
state
of
Lo
Lishma
is
the
wrong
way,
does
not
let
him
rest,
and
he
will
not
be
at
peace
until
he
comes
out
of
that
state
into
a
state
of
Lishma.
However,
who
is
making
him
feel,
while
he
is
in
the
state
of
Lo
Lishma,
that
this
is
still
not
the
right
way
and
he
is
still
far
from
Dvekut
with
the
Creator?
When
he
looks
at
the
rest
of
the
people,
they
go
by
this
path,
so
why
does
he
need
to
be
different?
Another
difficulty
is
that
when
he
looks
at
the
rest
of
the
people
he
sees
people
who
are
more
talented
and
more
capable
in
the
work
than
him.
But
they
settle
for
the
order
of
the
work
they
had
received
when
they
were
little,
when
the
instructors
taught
them
to
work
only
in
Lo
Lishma,
as
in
the
above
words
of
Maimonides.
And
then
he
sees
about
himself
that
although
“a
sorrow
shared
is
a
sorrow
halved,”
he
cannot
accept
the
state
of
Lo
Lishma.
At
that
time
comes
the
question:
“If
I
am
really
less
talented
and
less
capable
in
the
work,
where
did
I
get
this
restlessness
in
the
state
of
Lo
Lishma?”
To
this
comes
the
answer:
“I
am
the
first.”
That
is,
the
Creator
has
given
him
this
deficiency
so
he
will
not
be
able
to
continue
on
this
path.
One
should
not
think
that
he
has
obtained
this
by
his
own
wisdom.
Rather,
the
Creator
says,
“I
am
the
first,”
meaning
“I
have
given
you
the
first
push,
so
you
will
begin
to
walk
on
the
path
of
truth.
By
giving
you
a
deficiency
of
feeling
that
with
the
respect
to
the
truth,
you
are
deficient.”
Then
begins
the
work
that
he
begins
to
wait
for
a
state
where
he
repels
self-love,
and
all
his
works
are
only
in
order
to
bestow.
At
that
time
he
must
dedicate
to
it
all
the
thoughts
and
resources
at
his
disposal,
as
in
“Everything
that
you
find
within
your
power
to
do,
that
do.”
Afterwards,
when
he
is
rewarded
with
Dvekut
with
the
Creator,
he
thinks
that
it
is
through
his
labor
in
Torah
and
Mitzvot,
and
by
overcoming
his
self-love.
He
thinks
that
he
has
been
rewarded
with
it
only
through
his
work,
that
he
was
very
persistent,
and
only
he
had
the
strength
to
make
the
most
of
his
opportunities,
which
gave
him
this
riches
and
he
was
rewarded
what
he
was
rewarded.
The
verse
says
about
that:
“And
I
am
the
last.
That
is,
as
I
was
the
first,
giving
you
the
deficiency,
I
am
also
the
last,
meaning
I
have
given
you
the
filling
of
the
deficiency.”
The
deficiency
is
called
the
Kli
[vessel],
and
the
filling
is
called
“the
light.”
Since
there
is
no
light
without
a
Kli,
the
Kli
is
made
first,
and
then
the
abundance
is
poured
into
the
Kli.
This
is
why
the
Creator
first
gives
the
Kli,
which
is
called
“I
am
the
first,”
and
then
He
gave
the
abundance,
called
“I
am
the
last.”
By
this
will
understand
the
difference
between
work
that
a
person
does
in
corporeal
work,
in
some
factory,
and
a
worker
doing
spiritual
work.
Ordinarily,
a
worker
who
is
not
working
does
not
receive
reward.
However,
he
is
also
not
punished
if
he
is
not
working.
Conversely,
in
spiritual
work,
one
who
is
not
working,
who
is
not
keeping
Torah
and
Mitzvot,
is
punished,
as
our
sages
said
(Avot,
Chapter
5),
“The
world
was
created
with
ten
utterances.
What
does
that
teach
us?
It
could
have
been
created
with
one
utterance.
However,
to
avenge
the
wicked,
who
are
destroying
the
world,
it
was
created
with
ten
utterances,
and
to
give
a
good
reward
to
the
righteous,
who
are
sustaining
the
world,
it
was
created
in
ten
utterances.”
This
has
already
been
explained
in
previous
articles,
but
the
gist
of
the
matter
is
that
“to
avenge
the
wicked”
means
that
there
will
be
the
suffering
that
the
wicked
suffer
in
their
lives.
This
means
that
when
he
looks
at
his
own
wicked,
meaning
at
his
own
will
to
receive,
if
he
sees
that
everything
he
does
for
the
will
to
receive
does
not
satisfy
him
in
this
life,
and
to
the
extent
that
he
sees
and
feels
the
unpleasantness
of
this
life,
by
these
he
receives
a
Kli
and
deficiency
for
spirituality.
This
is
so
because
the
unpleasantness
that
one
feels
in
one’s
life
pushes
him
to
search
for
a
place
where
he
can
derive
life.
It
therefore
follows
that
the
punishment
that
he
suffers
for
taking
the
wrong
path
is
not
regarded
as
vengeance
for
not
walking
on
the
path
of
the
Creator,
regarded
as
having
to
work
for
the
Creator.
On
the
contrary,
it
is
assistance—he
is
being
pushed
toward
happiness
and
bounty.
It
therefore
follows
that
the
punishment
he
sees
that
the
wicked
are
suffering,
he
needs
to
feel
the
suffering
that
the
wicked
suffer.
This
is
the
meaning
of
what
is
written
(Psalms,
94),
“Happy
is
the
man
whom
You
chasten,
Lord.”
This
means
that
the
suffering
he
feels
when
he
is
marching
the
wrong
path
is
regarded
as
the
Creator
giving
him
a
Kli,
which
is
“I
am
the
first.”
However,
He
does
not
let
anyone
feel
suffering
when
walking
on
the
path
of
Lo
Lishma.
Rather,
only
“He
whom
the
Lord
loves
He
admonishes.”
This
is
regarded
as
feeling
the
taste
of
the
wicked,
who
are
immersed
in
self-love,
and
this
pushes
him
from
the
path
of
falsehood
to
the
path
of
truth.
It
follows
that
when
a
worker
is
not
working
in
corporeality,
he
is
not
paid,
but
he
is
not
punished
for
not
wanting
to
work.
But
this
is
not
so
in
spirituality:
If
he
is
idle
in
the
work,
he
is
punished,
as
our
sages
said,
“to
avenge
the
wicked,”
where
it
is
not
regarded
as
being
punished,
but
as
being
elevated
to
walk
on
the
right
path.
It
is
not
considered
a
punishment,
but
as
a
correction.
This
means
that
there
are
two
manners
of
correction:
1)
the
path
of
Torah,
2)
the
path
of
suffering.
However,
this
is
not
regarded
as
a
punishment,
but
as
a
correction,
and
the
correction
comes
to
him
by
suffering.
Afterwards,
when
he
has
a
Kli,
called
“vessel
of
bestowal,”
where
he
previously
had
only
a
desire
for
self-reception,
now
he
receives
a
desire,
meaning
he
expects
the
Creator
to
give
him
the
Kli
called
“desire
to
bestow.”
When
he
has
the
Kli
of
the
desire
to
bestow,
he
is
rewarded
with
the
bounty
and
happiness
that
were
in
the
thought
of
creation,
which
is
called
“to
do
good
to
His
creations.”
This
is
the
meaning
of
“I
am
the
last,”
referring
to
the
filling,
that
what
he
lacked
before,
now
He
fills
all
his
deficiencies.
However,
this
is
so
only
with
respect
to
private
Providence.
That
is,
for
himself,
a
person
should
say
that
everything
depends
on
him,
for
only
according
to
his
overcoming
in
the
work
he
will
be
able
to
be
rewarded
with
the
goal
for
which
he
was
created.
This
is
regarded
as
a
person
having
to
believe
in
reward
in
punishment.
At
that
same
time,
once
he
has
done
his
work,
he
must
say
that
everything
is
under
private
Providence,
as
was
said
in
the
interpretation
to
“I
am
the
first
and
I
am
the
last.”
Regarding
this
matter,
that
one
should
reach
the
goal,
he
should
know
that
the
most
important
thing
is
to
come
to
aim
all
his
thoughts
and
actions
to
be
Lishma,
as
it
is
written,
“Everything
that
is
called
by
My
name,
I
have
created,
made,
and
fashioned
for
My
glory.”
We
should
understand
what
is
written
about
“Everything
that
is
called
by
My
name,
I
have
created.”
Did
the
Creator
Himself
not
create
for
His
glory
what
is
not
called
“by
My
name”?
We
should
also
understand
the
meaning
of
“called
by
My
name.”
We
should
interpret
“called
by
My
name,”
that
he
relates
to
Him,
as
it
is
written,
“Israel,
Your
people,”
or
“His
people,
Israel,”
meaning
that
he
relates
to
the
Creator.
At
that
time
he
must
be
in
equivalence
of
form
with
the
Creator,
as
it
is
written,
“As
He
is
merciful,
so
you
are
merciful,”
meaning
that
his
intention
is
only
to
bestow
upon
the
Creator,
that
all
his
actions
are
only
for
His
glory,
and
he
has
no
concern
for
his
own
benefit.
By
that
we
should
interpret,
“Everything
that
is
called
by
My
name.”
That
is,
who
relates
to
Me?
These
are
people
who
say
that
the
whole
of
creation
is
only
for
His
glory,
and
not
for
one’s
own
benefit.
Then
one
can
relate
oneself
to
Me,
and
is
regarded
in
the
collective
called
“His
people,
Israel,”
or
“Israel.”
At
that
time
one
can
feel
what
is
written,
“Who
chooses
His
people,
Israel,
with
love.”
It
follows
that
one
should
acquire
a
deficiency—to
feel
that
he
needs
the
Creator’s
help
to
come
to
“all
his
actions
are
for
the
Creator.”
Then
begins
the
order
of
the
work
Lishma,
and
then
he
is
rewarded
with
things,
as
in
the
words
of
Rabbi
Meir.