There is a question: Why is there a proximity between the commandment not to take a wife “for my son from the daughters of the Canaanite,” and “you will go to my country and to my kindred,” meaning he should take a wife specifically from his family?

In Midrash Rabbah there are three views concerning the meaning of “in everything.” Rabbi Yodan: “In everything” means female. Rabbi Nehemiah: He did not have a female whatsoever. Rabbi Levi: He reigned in his inclination.

A female means a lack, since he was created deficient like all creations, and the Creator gave him a blessing in this lack. This is the view of Rabbi Yodan.

According to Rabbi Nehemiah, he did not have a female whatsoever, meaning his blessing was that he never had any deficiency, and there is no blessing greater than if one’s deficiencies are taken from him.

Rabbi Levi said that it is that he reigned in his inclination. That is, he did have a deficiency, and a deficiency is called the “evil inclination,” but he had the power to control it so as not to receive anything for himself, but only for the sake of the Creator.

It follows that there are three discernments here: 1) He has no deficiency at all; the evil inclination has been taken away from him, and he bestows in order to bestow. He reigned in his inclination, meaning he does not receive at all. Also, that he had a female, meaning that he had a deficiency but he was using it only in a manner of blessing, by receiving in order to bestow, and then it is regarded as a blessing.

1) He does not receive.

2) He bestows in order to bestow.

3) He receives in order to bestow.

In other words, the three views are the order of the work to achieve the completeness of the goal, and each one thinks that he is the most important. One thinks that the most important is the beginning, which is not to be a receiver, and that this was the whole blessing, and the rest simply follows.

The next one thinks that the most important is to bestow in order to bestow. If he is blessed here, the rest follows by itself.

The third one thinks that the final goal is the most important because we must be rewarded with this blessing.

The verse says, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make for him a help made against him.” In other words, his wife will be an aide in fighting against the opposition, which is the evil inclination.

Abraham had Sarah as an aide. For this reason, he wanted Isaac his son to also take for him an aide from his family. As Sarah was his brother’s daughter, Rebecca was the daughter of his brother’s son. By having this aide from the side of his wife, he will achieve the complete wholeness, just as Abraham achieved wholeness, meaning that he was rewarded with the quality of “everything,” which is wholeness.