What Is the Son of the Beloved and the Son of the Hated in the Work?
Article No. 46, 1991
The Midrash says (presented in Baal HaTurim) about what is written, “If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other hated.” He says, “‘If a man has two wives’ is the Creator. ‘Loved’ are the idol-worshippers, to whom He shows His face, and ‘hated’ are Israel, from whom He hides His face.”
We should understand this, since it contradicts all the places that write that the Creator loves His people, Israel, as it is written (Malachi 1:2-3), “‘I loved you,’ says the Lord. But you say, ‘How did You love us?’ ‘Was not Esau Jacob's brother?’ declares the Lord. ‘Yet I loved Jacob and I hated Esau.’” Also, we say, “Who chooses Israel, His people, with love.”
We should interpret this in the work: It is known that in the work, we speak of everything within one body. For this reason we should interpret saying “two wives” to mean that they are in the same body. This means that there are two forces within man: 1) the desire to receive for one’s own benefit, 2) the desire to bestow, to do everything for the sake of the Creator.
Those two are called “two wives.” In other words, we should determine within man the quality of the “seventy nations of the world,” and the quality of “Israel.” We attribute the “nations of the world” to the will to receive for one’s own benefit, and we attribute “Israel” to the desire to bestow upon the Creator.
We should know that those two desires come from above, meaning that only the Creator gives them and it is not within man’s hands to take them by himself. Rather, the first force, called “will to receive for oneself,” comes to a person without any effort. As soon as one is born, he has this force. But the second force, the “desire to bestow,” does not come from above without labor. This means that first one must seek ways by which to obtain it, and only then does he receive from above the desire to bestow. However, it is not given without labor.
We should understand the reason that the desire to bestow is not given without labor, and the will to receive is given without labor. This is so because in order to achieve the purpose of creation, which is to do good to His creations, He had to create a creation that contains the will to receive pleasure, since without a desire, it is impossible to enjoy anything. Hence, the Creator placed within creation the desire to receive pleasure.
This means that if man did not have it when he was born, it would be impossible to be called “creature,” since this shows us the matter of creation “existence from absence,” meaning that a desire and need were created, where he wants to satisfy his need. For this reason, this desire comes immediately, without any effort. In other words, were it not for the will to receive, there would not be any development, so there would be anything in the world, since we learn everything only by the power of the will to receive, which pushes us to go forward. For this reason, this desire comes to us without any effort.
But concerning the desire to bestow, the Creator does not give it to us without any effort. That is, once we have creation and the Creator should give fulfillment to the creatures, He gives them what they demand and say that they need. At that time the Creator fills their lack. It therefore follows that all the effort that a person makes in Torah and Mitzvot is in order to obtain the lack for the desire to bestow. That is, as man understands that without a desire to receive pleasure, a person cannot live in the world, meaning that if a person sees that if he has nothing to give to his will to receive so it can enjoy, the person knows that he will not be able to exist in the world, since without vitality he is in conflict with the purpose of creation, to do good to His creations.
Likewise, a person must come to feel that unless he has the desire to bestow, by which he can achieve Dvekut [adhesion] with the Creator, he also has no life or pleasure in this world. In other words, he sees that he has no satisfaction in life. For this reason, he wants to achieve wholeness, for there must be delight and pleasure in creation. However, without the desire to bestow, a person cannot achieve wholeness. This state is called “lack and need,” and when a person has such a lack, he receives from above, from the Creator, the second desire called “desire to bestow.”
For this reason, one should do all that he can in order to acquire a lack for the desire to bestow. However, one must know that although he wants to do everything in order to bestow, the body does not let him emerge from its governance, and this causes one descents and ascents. That is, once the will to receive prevails over the desire to bestow, meaning that the will to receive brings him desires and thoughts that it is correct, meaning that it gives him a greater taste for self-love, which means that the will to receive, which is the “nations of the world,” receives more flavor each time, so when it acquires more strength, it cancels the need for the desire to bestow.
Hence, all the labor that one has given in order to obtain the need for the desire to bestow departs from him, and the person agrees, during the descent, with the will to receive for oneself. However, afterward, the person recovers and begins once more to work and labor in order to obtain the need for the desire to bestow, and then the will to receive prevails once more. It follows that this is the cause of ascents and descents.
This situation continues until a person comes to a resolution that without His help, it is impossible to attain, not necessarily the actual desire to bestow, but even the need for the desire to bestow also ascends and descends to the point that several times he came to a state where he saw that he could not make any more efforts than he already has. Therefore, he wants to escape the work.
However, we should ask, Why did the Creator make it so there are ascents and descents? As said above, it is in order for man to need to move forward and not settle for little. For this reason, he receives a descent from above. In other words, a person is helped to advance by lowering him from his degree. This causes him to reflect and see what is required of him from above, and for which he was lowered from his degree.
This causes a person to pray to the Creator for help. The help that one receives from above is the preparation because of which he will obtain a soul, as it is written in The Zohar, that he is helped by “a holy soul.” It follows that both the ascents and the descents come from above. That is, the descents, too, help a person, and because of them he achieves the goal he should achieve.
By this we should interpret what The Zohar says (VaYishlach, Item 4), “If a man comes to be purified, the evil inclination surrenders before him and the right governs the left. And both the good inclination and the evil inclination join to keep man in all the roads he travels, as it is written, ‘For He will give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.’”
We should understand how it can be said that the evil inclination keeps a person walking on the straight path. After all, it advises a person not to walk in the way of Torah, fails him in all his ways, and detains him from working for the sake of the Creator but only for his own sake. Thus, we should know how the evil inclination helps him.
The descents that a person receives, when the evil inclination gives him thoughts that are foreign to the spirit of Torah, cause him descents. According to a person’s opinion, it must be that the evil inclination brought him the feeling that love of self is more important than love of the Creator, and that this is the cause of the descents.
But in truth, one should believe that the Creator does everything. In other words, the Creator sends these descents to a person in order for them to give man momentum in the work so he will not be content with little. When a person feels that he does all that he can in Torah and Mitzvot, and he cannot discern the matter of the intention for the sake of the Creator, or that he is working for his own benefit, since when one works in the manner of the general public, an illumination shines on a person as Surrounding Light, giving him satisfaction so he will not feel any lack in his work.
Only when one wants to work in the manner of individuals, meaning that the aim will also be for the sake of the Creator, and not specifically the act (as said in Article No. 45, Tav-Shin-Nun-Aleph), then he is notified from above that he is not all right, and from this he falls into a descent. At that time, one sees his real situation and begins to seek a way by which to emerge from the control of self-love.
It therefore follows that were it not for the evil inclination, which brings him the state of descents, he would remain in a state of ascent and would not need to achieve the goal of Dvekut with the Creator. It follows that the evil inclination is an angel of God, a messenger of the Creator to keep him from staying in a state of “still of Kedusha [holiness],” but rather needing to advance. This is why he says, “For He will give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.” Thus, the evil inclination is also a messenger of the Creator to keep the person.
According to the above, we should interpret what we asked concerning the words of the Midrash that says, “‘If a man has two wives’ is the Creator. ‘Loved’ are the idol-worshippers.” How can it be said that the Creator loves the idol-worshippers? We should interpret that when it says, “If a man has two wives,” it means that the Creator gives to a person two wives, meaning two desires, one loved, meaning the will to receive for one’s own sake. This is called “idol-worshippers,” meaning not for the sake of the Creator but for one’s own sake.
That desire is called “loved,” meaning that the creatures love this desire because the Creator shows them the face. In other words, the Creator created the world because of His desire to do good to His creations. This is considered that the Creator is showing them the face, meaning to the will to receive, for it is impossible to receive pleasure if there is no yearning for the pleasure. Because of this, the Creator shows the face to the will to receive pleasure. That is, All that one does for oneself, one enjoys, and this is considered that He shows him the face.
Yet, why is this called “idol-worshippers”? The answer is that since there was a correction that in order to avoid the issue of shame, it is forbidden to receive in order to receive. One who does receive in order to receive is called in the work, “idol-worshipper.” In other words, he does not work for the sake of the Creator but for his own sake. In the work, this is called “foreign work,” “idol-worshipping.” Although in terms of the actions, he is considered “Israel” and a “servant of the Creator,” in terms of the work, which is to bestow, this is called “idol-worshipping,” meaning work that is foreign to us.
Since a person is born with an inherent nature to work only for one’s own sake, which a person calls “loved,” since the Creator shows them the face, as long as one works for his own sake, he has a desire to work, since by nature, he loves working for the will to receive. But when one wants to work for the sake of the Creator, which is to benefit the Creator and not himself, this desire belongs to the quality of “Israel” in a person, and that desire is called “hated,” since the Creator hides the face from them.
In other words, in order for one to be rewarded with “Israel,” the Creator hides His face from them, since when a person wants to walk in a manner where all his actions are for the sake of the Creator, in order to be able to receive in order to bestow, there had to be a concealment and Tzimtzum [restriction] on the Torah and Mitzvot [commandments/good deeds], so they would be able to say that they are observing Torah and Mitzvot without any reward, but only for the sake of the Creator. Since this is against nature, the body hates this work. And if a person wants to work specifically for the sake of the Creator, he has no other choice but to pray to the Creator to give him the strength to overcome the will to receive and subdue it
A person receives this power from above, as it is written, “He who comes to purify is aided.” That is, he is given a soul from above. It follows that specifically by having hatred for the quality of “Israel” in a person, he cannot overcome, since the body hates bestowal. At that time, there is room for one to truly be rewarded with the degree of “Israel” by asking for help from above.
This is the meaning of what was said, that from the two forces that there are in man—the evil inclination and the good inclination—a person can achieve the completion of the goal, for both of them keep him from veering off from the right path, neither to the right nor to the left, but to come to achieve the completeness of the goal, which is to receive the delight and pleasure that the Creator wants to impart upon the creatures.
It therefore follows that the “loved wife” is the idol-worshippers, and the “hated wife” is Israel. To this we should add that those two forces, the will to receive and the desire to bestow, are also called “man” and “beast.” That is, the will to receive in man is regarded as a “beast,” belonging to the quality of animals, in whom there is only self-benefit, and the “speaking” is the quality of “man,” which is the desire to bestow that man should achieve, and which he can achieve only through great efforts for the above reason, that by nature a person cannot understand how to do anything for the sake of the Creator.
That is, a person is concerned with satisfying the demands of his “beast,” but what the “man” in him demands, a person cannot satisfy. Rather, this requires asking the Creator to give him the power to overcome his “beast,” for without the help of the Creator, governance is given to thoughts and desires that hate the quality of “man” and the quality of “Israel,” which is the quality of “man,” as our sages said, “You are called ‘man,’ and the idol-worshippers are not called ‘man’” (Yevamot 61). Thus, the “hated woman” is “Israel,” from whom the Creator hides His face.
According to the above, we should interpret what our sages said (Avot 1:15), “Welcome every person.” We should understand what this tells us in the work. When a person wants to do something for his quality of “man,” and since the quality of “man” is hated, since all of man’s concerns are only to satisfy the demands that his “beast” demands, and the body loves the quality of the beast, but as for the quality of “man,” which is “Israel,” the body hates it; therefore, our sages came and warned, “Welcome every person,” where “every” means even all that is discerned as “man.”
In other words, we should appreciate even a small thing, if it pertains to the quality of “man.” Our sages told us that we should try to welcome the quality of “man,” and not as it seems to us as hated because the Creator hides His face from them. Rather, we should go above reason and welcome every person above what the mind of our body tells us. That is, we must do things that are suitable for the quality of “man.”
Although the “beast” within us screams and says that the work we want to do for the quality of man are unsuitable for sane people, since what we are, a demanding beast, this is acceptable, and the evidence is that the body loves this work. But what he wants, to work for the quality of “man,” you see that the body hates this. Clearly, the mind makes sense, since it says that by working for the quality of “beast,” this is reasonable and suitable for an intelligent person, while the work that you want to do for the quality of “man,” this is an act of a “beast,” meaning mindless.
Our sages tell us about this that we should not listen to what the body says, that it is making the argument of a “human,” but rather to welcome every “quality of man,” and say, “Although according to the mind and reason, the quality of man is hated, I believe in the words of the sages and I welcome them.”
By this we should interpret what our sage said, “Man and beast You deliver, O Lord.” These are people who are as cunning in their reason as people, and pretend to be as beasts. That is, although rationally, you are correct, and a person should walk on the path that he loves, still, “he pretends to be a beast,” mindless, and goes with faith above reason.
However, we should believe that by observing Torah and Mitzvot in practice in every detail and precision, thanks to the actions, we are rewarded with the Creator helping us from above so we will have the strength to go forward and be rewarded with obtaining the goal, which is that man will receive the delight and pleasure that there is in the purpose of creation. This is so because when we observe Torah and Mitzvot unconditionally, but only because of the commandment of the Creator, this is called an awakening from below. By this, the light and abundance extend from above, and they can emerge from the governance of evil.
This is as our sages said (RASHI in the name of Machilta) about what is written (Exodus 13:12), “When I see the blood, I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you.” (He asks), “‘When I see the blood?’ But everything is revealed before Him! But the Creator said, ‘I look to see that you are engaged in My commandments, and I pass over you.”
We see that our sages said that so that no plague would befall them, meaning to emerge from the control of the evil, called “death,” as our sages said, “The wicked in their lives are called ‘dead,’” we were given the work in practice. Thanks to the work we do, the Creator is revealed to us, as it says, “And it shall be as a token for you.” What do we learn? “In return for the Mitzva that you are performing, I will have mercy on you.” Thus, thanks to the practice of Mitzvot, a person is saved from the governance of the will to receive, called “evil inclination,” and is rewarded with obtaining the desire to bestow.
However, one who walks on one line, who is satisfied with practice, when he works for the sake of the Creator and does not consider the intention, that the intention will also be for the sake of the Creator, he cannot obtain the desire to bestow, called Dvekut [adhesion]. This is so because he has no lack. Hence, these people who have already shifted from one line to the right line, when they see their lowliness, that there is not a single organ in that person that wants to do anything for the sake of the Creator, they yearn for the Creator to deliver them from death, meaning from the governance of self-love. At that time, his way to be rewarded with the Creator being revealed to him, meaning to be rewarded with the desire to bestow, which is when one is adhered to the Creator, a person can be rewarded with it only thanks to the practice, when he wants the reward for observing Torah and Mitzvot to be Dvekut with the Creator. This is the meaning of “In return for the Mitzva [sing. of Mitzvot] that you are performing, I will have mercy on you.” That is, He has mercy on us and saves us from death, which is the governance of the will to receive.
However, we see that man can do anything that is not on the path of correction. We see that this applies both in adults and in little children. And especially, we see this in little children since with grownups, everything already involves several reasons, so we cannot see the truth. But with children, we see this more openly, that children can toil all day, but if we ask them to do something, they say that they have no energy for the work. We should know that this extends from the world of Nekudim, where there was the breaking of the vessels. For this reason anything that does not pertain to correction, we have the strength to do. But if it pertains to correction, there is already labor involved due to the resistance of the body.
Hence, when a person walks on one line, he can observe Torah and Mitzvot in every way. But when he goes on the right line, when the work is on the path of correction, the person should then make great efforts to walk on the path of the “right.” This is why we need strengthening.