The Distance That Builds Love: Why Spiritual Growth Begins with Recognizing the Gap

Spiritual growth does not begin with the immediate experience of love, bestowal, or closeness to the Creator. It begins with preparation, and preparation means becoming aware of what is still missing.

To attain a new degree of love, we must first develop a need for that love. Yet we cannot feel the need for something while remaining unaware of its absence. We therefore begin by discovering the opposite of love: separation, rejection, indifference, resistance, and even hatred.

This does not necessarily mean that a new hatred has appeared. Rather, a separation that was already present becomes visible to us. We begin to recognize how different our present qualities are from the qualities of the upper degree.

This recognition of the distance between our nature and the quality of bestowal is sometimes called the "recognition of evil" or the "lack of equivalence of form." It is not meant to bring a person into self-condemnation. Its purpose is to reveal the precise place where correction, prayer, and spiritual growth are needed.

The Preparation for True Spirituality

Rabash writes:

"Work, which is in the aspect of the preparation to enter true spirituality. That is, at the time when he takes upon himself to believe in the importance of the Creator above reason, then he must take upon himself that he wants to go specifically in faith above reason, even if he is given reason to see the greatness of the Creator within reason, he chooses more faith above reason. For the reason of 'the glory of God is to conceal a matter.'

And this is called that he wants to go in above reason. And specifically then he becomes a fitting vessel to receive spirituality, since he does not care for anything for himself, but all his intentions are only to bestow to the Creator. And because of this, there is no longer fear that if he is given some illumination, that this will go to the vessels of reception. Since he always strives to exit self-love.

For my father and teacher, may his memory be blessed, said, that just as the will to receive wants only to receive and not to bestow, also in the place where he is told to work above reason, this is called only to bestow and not to receive, for the reason that there are torments to a person in the place where he must go above reason.

And the proof of this is, since the body always cares to receive pleasure and delight in everything it does, and being above reason, if a person must work, the body is not satisfied with this. And because of this, when a person is educated to go above reason, then he already begins in the work of bestowal.

And according to this, it turns out, at the time when a person prefers to go in the way of above reason, this is a safeguard that he will go in the right way, which is the path to reach adhesion with the Creator."

Rabash I, "The Matter of the Importance of the Recognition of Evil"

Recognizing the Difference Between Us and the Creator

The purpose of spiritual preparation is adhesion with the Creator. Adhesion does not mean physical closeness. It means similarity of qualities, intentions, and direction.

The Creator is described as the quality of pure bestowal. Therefore, a person can measure spiritual closeness only by examining the extent to which their intention resembles bestowal.

But at the beginning, we do not yet know what true bestowal is. We measure it by gradually recognizing its opposite within ourselves.

We discover how strongly we are governed by self-concern, personal benefit, justification, calculation, and the desire to receive pleasure. We begin to see the difference between what we naturally want and the quality attributed to the Creator.

This difference is the lack of equivalence of form.

The recognition of evil is therefore not merely the discovery that we have made a mistake or behaved incorrectly. It is a deeper recognition of the gap between two forms:

1. the will to receive for oneself;
2. the will to bestow and resemble the Creator.

The more clearly this difference is revealed, the more accurately a person can direct themselves toward correction.

Why Hatred Is Revealed Before Love

Sometimes this separation is described with the strong word "hatred."

In ordinary language, hatred usually means emotional hostility toward another person. In spiritual work, however, the term can point to something broader: opposition of qualities, rejection, unwillingness to connect, or the inability to accept a form that contradicts our present nature.

When I discover that I do not truly want bestowal, connection, or annulment before the upper quality, I reveal an inner opposition. I may understand that love and bestowal are important, but my natural desire does not agree.

This opposition was not necessarily created at that moment. It was already present, but hidden. Previously, I may have imagined that I was close to love because I had not yet seen the depth of my self-love.

The upper degree reveals the distance between itself and the person. As a stronger light enters, it exposes more subtle forms of resistance.

The discovery of hatred is therefore not a departure from spiritual development. It can be evidence that the person is beginning to perceive the truth of their condition.

There cannot be a real bridge of love unless the separation beneath it has first been revealed.

Love Is Built Above the Revealed Rejection

Spiritual love does not erase rejection as though it had never existed. It is built above the revealed rejection.

A person discovers a resistance to connection and asks for the reforming Light to build a new attitude above it. The hatred, distance, or opposition becomes the depth over which love can be established.

Without the revelation of separation, love remains instinctive, emotional, or imaginary. It has no vessel, no deficiency, and no real need behind it.

The greater the revealed distance, the greater the potential love that can be built above it.

This is why spiritual development often appears paradoxical. A person expects progress to feel like increasing warmth, certainty, and closeness. Instead, they may discover more resistance, criticism, doubt, and inner distance.

Yet these discoveries can provide the material for a deeper connection.

What matters is not merely what is revealed, but what a person asks to build above it.

Faith Above Reason

Rabash explains that the entrance into true spirituality is connected with faith above reason.

"Faith" here does not mean accepting an idea without evidence. In the language of Kabbalah, faith refers to the quality of bestowal, the quality of Bina.

"Reason" refers to what the will to receive currently understands, feels, calculates, and considers worthwhile.

To go above reason means to prefer the direction of bestowal even when the egoistic calculation does not support it.

According to all the calculations of the will to receive, such work may appear unreasonable. The person does not see a personal benefit, reward, or justification. The body asks, "What will I receive from this?"

Faith above reason means that the person does not make personal profit the condition for spiritual work. They ask to acquire the quality of bestowal not because it feels pleasant, rational, or rewarding, but because through it they can become similar to the Creator.

This is already an action against the natural rule of the ego.

The Renunciation of Personal Calculation

There cannot be spiritual love without some form of renunciation.

Renunciation does not mean giving up something unimportant. It means recognizing something as important, desirable, and valuable to the ego, yet choosing not to use it for oneself.

If something has no importance to me, giving it up does not constitute spiritual work. The work begins when I truly want something, see the pleasure or advantage it offers, and nevertheless place the intention to bestow above my desire to receive it for myself.

The central question then becomes: Why am I renouncing personal benefit?

Is it because I expect a greater reward later? Is it because I want to feel righteous, successful, or spiritually elevated? Or is it because I want to resemble the quality of bestowal?

The recognition of these hidden calculations is also part of the recognition of evil. A person gradually discovers that even actions that appear to be acts of bestowal may still contain an expectation of personal reward.

When Spiritual Reward Becomes a New Test

At first, a person works on resisting ordinary egoistic pleasures. They try not to use the will to receive for personal benefit.

Later, a more subtle form of work appears.

A person may begin to receive spiritual illumination, attainment, understanding, inspiration, or a sense of closeness. These experiences can be more powerful than any corporeal reward.

The danger is that the person may begin to bestow in order to receive these spiritual pleasures.

They may say that they want to give to the Creator, while internally expecting illumination, attainment, greatness, understanding, or a feeling of spiritual life in return.

Therefore, the work is not only to restrict the ordinary will to receive. A person must also examine their relationship to spiritual reward.

When something infinitely valuable appears to come from the Creator, the person must still ask: Am I receiving this for myself, or can I relate to it only as a means of bestowal?

This requires a restriction, a screen, and reflected Light.

The restriction means that the person does not automatically use the pleasure for themselves.

The screen is the power to resist receiving according to the natural egoistic intention.

Reflected Light is the intention to return the pleasure to its source through bestowal. Only to the extent that receiving can serve bestowal may the person receive.

This is called "receiving in order to bestow."

Working Without Expecting Reward

The expression "not in order to receive reward" applies to every stage of the work.

At one stage, the person renounces ordinary egoistic profit.

At another stage, they renounce spiritual profit.

They do not want their work to depend on feeling good, receiving illumination, attaining knowledge, or being rewarded with a sense of closeness.

This does not mean that spiritual pleasure is evil. The issue is the intention with which it is received.

The goal is to resemble the Creator in pure bestowal. Therefore, the person must be prepared both for emptiness and for abundance. They must learn to maintain the intention to bestow when nothing is felt and also when immense spiritual fulfillment is revealed.

Both states require preparation.

Preparation Builds the Spiritual Vessel

Preparation is not simply something that happens before the spiritual work. Preparation builds the vessel in which spirituality can later be received.

A vessel is a need, a deficiency, or a desire for a specific quality.

To receive love, a person must develop a need for love.

To develop that need, they must discover the absence of love.

To ask for connection, they must reveal their separation.

To ask for equivalence with the Creator, they must recognize their lack of equivalence.

The revelation of the negative state is therefore not the final goal. It is the preparation of the vessel for the positive state.

The hatred reveals the place where love must be built.

The rejection reveals the place where connection is needed.

The self-love reveals the place where bestowal must be acquired.

The inability to justify the path reveals the place where faith above reason must be established.

Remaining as an Embryo

This process is connected with the spiritual state called "embryo."

An embryo represents complete annulment before the upper degree. It does not determine its own form but accepts the form given by the upper one.

To remain in the degree of an embryo does not mean that a person stops growing. On the contrary, spiritual growth occurs through ever deeper forms of annulment.

As a person advances, more pleasures, lights, understandings, attainments, and personal calculations are revealed. With each new revelation, the person must again nullify their egoistic use of it.

They return themselves to "zero," not by destroying the desire, but by refusing to use it for self-benefit.

In this sense, growth takes place over an increasingly great resistance.

More desire is revealed, and the person builds a greater annulment above it.

More pleasure is revealed, and the person builds a stronger screen above it.

More understanding is revealed, and the person chooses bestowal above their own calculation.

This repeated annulment does not erase the vessel. It builds and expands it.

Through it, the person develops the spiritual degrees called suckling and maturity, or intellect.

The Gap Is the Place of Spiritual Work

The discovery that we are far from love does not mean that we have moved backward. It may mean that we are finally beginning to recognize the real distance that must be corrected.

Before the gap is revealed, we can imagine ourselves to be close to the upper degree. Once the light of that degree begins to affect us, we become aware of how different we are from it.

This awareness is painful because the will to receive does not enjoy seeing its own opposition to bestowal. Yet this recognition gives us something precious: a true deficiency.

From that deficiency, a real prayer can emerge.

The goal is not to remain in hatred, rejection, or self-criticism. The goal is to use every revealed opposition as material for building love above it.

The distance reveals the measure of the connection that is still missing.

The hatred reveals the need for love.

The lack of equivalence reveals the need for equivalence.

And the recognition of evil becomes the preparation of the vessel for adhesion with the Creator.